Warm sunlight fades,
Gentle breeze whispers farewell,
Day's end, peace remains.
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Enjoy the rest of your day.
Winter’s heavy sky—
a father’s absence deepens,
and her steps fade too.
Let the rain now fall—
washing what I could not keep,
quieting the storm.
You just went through two losses at the same time:
Your father.
The girl you were emotionally attached to.
Your nervous system is in shock. Your reactions (anger
impatience
emotional outbursts) are not because you’re “weak” — they’re because your system is overloaded. But if you don’t face this consciously
you will keep hurting yourself and others.
I’ll break this into two tracks: grief for your father and letting go of the girl. Both matter. You can’t skip either.
1. Face the reality about her (no sugarcoating)
You mistreated her. She got hurt.
You expected her to show up when you were at your lowest. She didn’t.
You got angry again. She left and blocked you.
Read that again: she has clearly chosen to not be in this with you.
Is that fair?
Maybe yes
maybe no. But it’s real. And fighting reality is why you’re suffering even more.
Right now you’re stuck in:
“She should have been there for me.”
That sentence is killing you. It keeps you frozen in anger
regret
and helplessness.
Hard truth:
She owed you nothing
even if you were close.
You wanted her to be there. That’s different.
You can apologize in your heart
learn from it
and grow — but you cannot force her to come back
unblock you
or give you closure.
What you need to do with her situation now:
Stop chasing. No more calls. No more messages from new numbers.
Stop building fantasies that “maybe after some time she’ll come back.” That’s emotional self-harm right now.
Accept this sentence fully:
“Right now
she does not want to be in my life. I don’t control that. I only control how I respond.”
This acceptance will hurt like hell at first. But it’s the start of healing.
2. You’re in grief – this is not just “sadness
” it’s a storm
You didn’t just lose a girl. You lost your father.
Your brain is trying to use her as a “painkiller” for the bigger pain. You keep thinking:
“If she was here
I could handle this.”
But that’s a trap. Because:
You tie your healing to someone who has already walked away.
You avoid facing the raw grief of losing your father.
What you’re experiencing:
Heavy chest
random tears
sudden anger
numbness
overthinking.
Feeling like nothing makes sense
like you can’t control your emotions.
That’s grief. Not weakness. But you do have a responsibility:
To not let your pain turn you into someone you yourself can’t respect.
3. What to actually do now (next 30 days)
Don’t just “feel bad” and scroll your life away. You need structure
even if it’s small.
A. One thing for your mind every day
Get a notebook or notes app.
Every day
write for 10–15 minutes:
3 memories with your father (good or bad
just real)
1 emotion you felt that day (angry
empty
guilty
lonely
etc.)
1 sentence starting with: “Today
I will take care of myself by…”
This is not journaling to be poetic. It’s dumping the chaos out of your head.
B. One thing for your body every day
Grief gets stuck in the body. You need movement.
20–30 minutes of:
Walking outside (no music for at least 10 minutes
just thoughts)
Or very basic home workout (push-ups
squats
stretches)
When your emotions spike (urges to call her
cry
shout):
Take a cold face wash or cold shower if possible.
Do 20 deep breaths: inhale 4 sec
hold 2 sec
exhale 6 sec.
This interrupts emotional spirals.
C. One thing for your connections every week
You needed someone
she wasn’t there. That hurts. But that doesn’t mean no one can be there.
This week:
Call or meet at least one person:
A friend
cousin
sibling
or someone who knew your father.
You don’t need a deep talk. You can simply say: “I’m not okay
I just don’t want to be alone today.”
If you have no one: join anything offline:
Local sports group
gym
temple/masjid/church/satsang
volunteering.
The point is: physical presence of others. You heal faster when you’re not isolated.
4. Handling the urge to reach out to her
You will want to message her again. That urge will come like a wave.
Understand what it really is:
Not “love.”
It’s pain looking for a quick exit.
When the urge comes:
Say out loud (or write):
“I miss her. I wish she was here. But she has chosen to leave. I will not humiliate myself or disrespect her choice.”
Do one of:
Go for a 10-minute walk.
Drop to the floor and do 20 push-ups (or as many as you can).
Write her a message in notes (don’t send). After writing
delete it.
This builds emotional muscle: feeling without reacting.
5. What you can learn from this (so it doesn’t repeat)
You can’t change the past fights. But you can extract the lesson so this pattern doesn’t destroy your next relationship.
Patterns I see:
When you’re under stress
you mistreat people close to you.
You then expect them to understand “I was not mentally good.”
When they don’t
you feel betrayed and double down in anger.
Then regret
collapse
and helplessness.
That pattern will ruin your future if you don’t face it.
What to do about it:
Own this fully:
“When I’m in pain
I become harsh. That is my responsibility to fix
not others’ responsibility to tolerate.”
Consider talking to a therapist or counselor if at all possible.
Even 3–4 sessions can help you process grief and anger.
Practice this rule in all relationships (friends
family):
If I’m overwhelmed
I say:
“I’m not okay right now. I might say something wrong. I need some time.”
That one sentence can save relationships.
6. When it gets really dark
If you start thinking:
“I can’t take this anymore.”
“I don’t want to be here.”
“Nothing matters without them.”
You need human contact immediately:
Call a trusted person and literally say: “I’m not okay. I need to talk or just sit with someone.”
Look up local mental health helplines in your country and call. Don’t overthink it. Just call.
If you’re in real danger of harming yourself: go to the nearest hospital or emergency room.
This is not drama. This is you being responsible for your own life.
7. What I want you to do next (right now)
Don’t just read this and go back to scrolling.
Do these 3 things today:
Write:
One page about your father. Any memory. Any words.
Move:
20–30 minutes walk outside
phone in pocket. Let yourself feel whatever comes.
Reach out:
Text or call one person and just say: “These days I’m not okay. Can we talk or meet sometime?”
Then come back here and tell me:
What country you’re in (so I can suggest realistic support options if needed).
How your relationship with your father was (close
complicated
distant?).
The worst thought that keeps looping in your head at night.
We’ll go from there. I’m not going to feed you “time heals everything.”
Time doesn’t heal. What you do with that time heals. Let’s start there.
First light breaks soft
new whispers paint the morning
hope walks earth again
Daybreak
New Day
Opportunity
Golden daybreak dawns,
A new day whispers promise,
Opportunity calls.
Daybreak
New Day
Opportunity
Daybreak awakens,
New day dawns with dew's embrace,
Opportunity's grace.
Daybreak
New Day
Opportunity